day 31 :: this is not the end

i can't believe that it's day 31. all day long i've been thinking about how i need to have something profound to say to conclude this month-long challenge to cast out fear. but the truth is, today is not an ending; it's a day full of beginnings.

i named a few of my fears earlier in the month. in the last couple weeks i've made some progress:

i'm not finished decorating my dining room wall, but i have taken a few steps. i'm in the middle of redoing some of the frames, and the way they're turning out is giving me confidence that it was worth the risk of not knowing what i was doing. i'm excited to keep working on this project and to reveal it over the next few weeks.

this month has pushed me to focus a lot on writing as opposed to taking pictures. i posted a few unedited shots in my ten on ten series for this month. this fear has to do with being ok with being real and being vulnerable. pictures are a good place to start, but this also carries into what i write and share on this blog and in how i live my life. i need to not be afraid to be me, not an edited version of myself. so here's an unedited, blurry picture of me and my stud celebrating his bday at a hockey game, greasy bangs and all. (:

i'm still wrestling with anxiety and depression. the thing is it's going to take more than a month of writing about fear for me to win this battle. i'm waiting for a good day, a day i'm not struggling as much with it, and praying that on that day i can muster the courage to figure out a way to see someone to talk through these things.

i have a dentist appointment scheduled for this wednesday. to be honest, i called today to make the appointment. i didn't want to not have done it by the time i got to my last post of this 31 day challenge. accountability really does help cast out fear. (:

in this month i've taken first steps. and i'm believing these are preparing me to take next steps and bigger steps. that's why i can't just wrap this month up into a little package and put it away to gather dust. it's not the end.


fear was cast out once and for all on a cross for us, through His perfect love. and it's His perfect love that casts out our fear. but it's a choice we must make daily to live in His perfect love, abandoning our fears.

and with that, i'll say goodbye to this challenge. it has stretched me, but i have learned more about myself and more about my God. and i can only hope that maybe some part of it helped you. i'm not done writing on what i've learned and am learning. but i must admit i am feeling a bit relieved not to feel the pressure to post every day. (: thank you for joining me on this journey, friends.