31 days of change [i'm in]

i decided last minute this week that i should participate in the 31 days of change that started with some lovely bloggers. write about one topic for 31 days during the month of october? sure, i'm up for a challenge and it seems like a great way to get myself to practice writing. the next question was what to write on... 31 days of recipes? 31 days of quotes? 31 days of fall? none of that really seemed like the right thing. i began to think some more...

i am opening up to a hope at this season in my life that God wants to do something in me. the Potter is softening and molding my heart. He is reshaping it. and i want to be open and pliable enough for Him to do so. if i'm honest, i have been living the last two years in fear. it has tangled its way around my heart and my mind, rendering me its prisoner. it's made me become someone i don't want to be. and instead of surrendering to it and allowing it control of my life, i feel like it is time for me to face it, to fight back, to read His words and give Him control of my life. so yesterday i decided i would devote the next 31 days to casting out fear.

i woke up this morning and, as really no surprise, i started talking myself out of it. the voice of fear loud and prominent... i didn't have any posts ready. i have no plan. how am i going to have something to write about for 31. days. straight.? i started to be talked out of it.

i got up and went out to start cleaning my apartment building and that's when i saw it. a spider. [or spee-ider if you're a megamind fan (: ] i live in the country now and these things are bigger than any i've ever seen in my life. immediately my body froze. chills formed up and down my legs and arms. my heart started racing. 

fear.

and as i started to move myself from this paralytic state, i thought of how tired i am of living like this. paralyzed. uncomfortable. scared. chained. and so many of my fears are so tiny, just like that spider, compared to the size of me. and the size of my God. and that's when my determination came back.

there's no turning back now, friends. starting today i'm fighting. it's no longer welcome in the home of my heart. i'm casting out fear.

will you join me?

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there are literally hundreds of bloggers around the blogosphere jumping in today to begin 31 days of change. i looked over the link ups already posted and there are so many great topics. you can see them all here. i have no idea what these next 31 days are going to look like, but i'm praying and trusting that God is going to do some big things in my heart and my life. 

"...for perfect love casts out fear" [1 john 4:18]

day 2 :: where the fear began
day 3 :: measuring up
day 4 :: on not going it alone
day 5 :: fear not
day 6 :: lights, camera...
day 7 :: how sweet it is
day 8 :: ...action!
day 9 :: You never let go
day 10 :: ten on ten
day 11 :: forgotten
day 12 :: His word
day 13 :: tonight
day 14 :: when we kneel
day 15 :: pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day
day 16 :: knowing His voice
day 17 :: first steps
day 18 :: peace
day 19 :: it's ok
day 20 :: give thanks for today
day 21 :: be prepared
day 24 :: my love
day 25 :: [not] decorating out of fear
day 26 :: confidence
day 27 :: notions
day 31 :: this is not the end