Wednesday, July 29

to the unknown

today i received a rejection letter from a job i had interviewed for. now, the interview and the time i spent waiting after the interview were leading me to believe this job would actually not be a good fit or direction for me to go, however, just receiving that sting of rejection hurt. my immediate future holds so many "unknowns" and my heart's desire is that something, at least one thing, would fall into place. to say that would be stress-relieving would be an understatement. instead, i find myself at a closed door. and though this particular opportunity was taken away from me, i still have a choice. i can choose to let it get me down, to put me flat on my face, or i can choose to be thankful. i choose to be thankful that i was able to find a job and am still able to find jobs to apply to. i am thankful that i had the opportunity to have an interview. and i am thankful that my God is in control and that He says that His love for me is great and His faithfulness endures forever (ps117:2). i don't know what the future holds, what my future holds, but i choose to believe that He holds it. i may feel like i door after door is being shut on me and that nothing is lining up the way i hope for it to, but i choose to let my beliefs trump my feelings. my God holds my life in His hand, and He has promised me a hope and a future and though the road may be narrow and bumpy, He has promised me Himself, and that will be enough.

Friday, July 24


friday morning, while walking to my car, i fell. math lesson of the day: super-cute-but-completely-tractionless sandals + wet ground = me. flat on my face. (i tell ya, you can't get this education in school kids!) i fell quickly and got up quickly and hopped quickly into my car. all in all i came away with two banged up knees, one muddy hand and a spoonful of humiliation as i had fallen as a few cars passed by.

sometimes in life we fall.

and it hurts. it stings sharply. the sting turns into a constant throbbing. we are wounded. we get scraped up. but we get up and we keep moving. the pain diminishes. the throbbing subsides. some of the wounds heal. some scar. and though sometimes we may hurt again from a bump or wrong twist or turn, we keep going. and although once in awhile we might see the scars and be reminded of the fall, we keep it in the past.

 at times there is a clear risk of falling in front of us. at other times, it's not so obvious. sometimes we're able to brace ourselves for it and avoid some of the potential pain. other times it comes out of nowhere and we find ourselves flat on our faces.

falling is a part of life.

infants fall while learning to walk. gymnasts fall while learning new events and exercises. students fall as they work through their studies. spouses fall as they learn how to love their partner. parents fall while learning how to raise their children.

falls can produce growth.

if we do not live in fear and try to avoid them. there is so much more to be gained by taking the risks and embracing the falls as opportunities in themselves to get up, learn and walk away a stronger person, a more humble person, a growing person.

Tuesday, July 21

bound, bound, bound and rebound

life lessons from pixar's boundin' on perspective, friendship and not giving up:
here's a story on how strange life is with its changes and it happened not long ago. on a high mountain plain, where the sagebrush arranges a playground south of the snow lived a lamb with a coat of remarkable sheen, it would glint in the sunlight all sparkly and clean, such a great source of pride that it caused him to preen. and he'd break out in high stepp'n dance. he would dance for his neighbors across the way. i must say that they found his dancin' enhancin', for they'd also join in the play. then one day... then a-boundin' up the slope came a great american jackalope. this sage of the sage, this rare hop of hope, caused to pause and check out the lamb; "hey kid, why the mope?" "i used to be something all covered with fluff, and i'd dance in the sunlight and show off my stuff, then they hauled me away in a manner quite rough and sheared me and dumped me back here in the buff. and if that's not enough now my friends all laugh at me cause they think i look ridiculous, funny and pink." "pink? pink? well, what's wrong with pink? seems you've got a pink kink in your think. does it matter what color? well, that gets nope. be it pink, purple or heliotrope. now sometimes you're up and sometimes you're down, when you find that you're down well just look around: you still got a body, good legs and fine feet, get your head in the right place and hey, you're complete! "now as for the dancin', you can do more, you can reach great heights, in fact you can soar. you just get a leg up and ya slap it on down, and you'll find you're up in what's called a bound. bound, bound and rebound. bound and you're up right next to the sky, and i think you can do it if you give it a try, first get a leg up, slap it on down..." so every year, along about may, they'd load him up and they'd haul him away, and they'd shave him and dump him all naked and bare. he learned to live with it, he didn't care, he'd just bound, bound and rebound. now in this world of ups and downs... so nice to know there are jackalopes around.

Monday, July 20

gonna take some time to do the things we never had

i forget i'm a choir nerd until i see something like this. INCREDIBLE! the happiest moment of my day:

Thursday, July 16

because i need to remember...

how great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! and that is what we are! (1john3:1)

the Lord is near. do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (phil4:5-7)

therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. and we rejoice in the hope fo the glory of God. (romans5:1-2)

Friday, July 10

L-O, L-O, L-O, L-O-V-E

yes, i'm singing ashlee simpson. sue me. sing with me! in "Crazy Love", Francis Chan challenges his readers to put their name into this familiar passage from 1 Corinthians 13. it's really kind of an eye-opening experience as to just how far from being loving i really am. this morning, i was doing some thinking on how i view God, what my understanding of His nature is and how this affects how i relate to Him. these verses came to mind once again... God is patient, God is kind. God does not envy, God does not boast, God is not proud. God is not rude, God is not self-seeking, God is not easily angered, God keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. God always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. God never fails. i know in my head that God is love. therefore, he embodies these characteristics. if i really let these truths sink in, how does that change the way i see and approach my Father?

Thursday, July 9


the other day i was on the phone making an appointment. when i finished, my mom, who had been in the room, told me she'd never recognize me on the phone if i used my "phone voice" when i was talking to her. we laughed about how formal and, dare i say, professional i could sound - a voice i'd perfected after spending a year having to make phone calls for a job. a year of being paid to sound professional! (and no, lucky for me and you, it was not in telemarketing!) the next morning i rolled out of bed, eyes half shut, stumbled into the bathroom to take a shower and began my usual inner dialogue... "Good morning Lord. Thank you for the sunshine that helps make it easier to get out of bed, for Your creation of another day..." and on i went. as i continued to get ready my mind wandered a bit to all that i had to do that day, but i did my best to keep focused on starting my day with prayer. it was right around the point where i was mumbling something about "reconciling myself to something or other" that i stopped and asked myself "do you even know what you're saying?!" i was on autopilot prayer, producing words of Christianese that i've heard spoken in teaching and prayer over the last 20 years. but was i really communicating with God? absolutely not! i was simply running a monologue of repetition. it occurred to me that just as i have my "phone voice", i have also developed a "prayer voice": one of going through the motions, not giving any thought to my words save for the thought in the back of my mind that as a Christian i need to be in constant prayer. but God doesn't want my mindless, heartless words. He wants me, my heart, my mind... whether it's in silence or tears or praise. how short do i sell Him, how little do i show i care for and love Him, when i allow my day to start out of obligation to be a "good Christian", when i repeat words and phrases without a heart that means them? it's true that God loves me and desires my prayers, but prayers that are from my heart, prayers that seek to develop a deeper relationship with Him, during time that is spent exclusively with Him, where everything else is put on hold. time where i am with Him and Him alone and i open up and expose my heart to Him, and then wait on His Voice as well. God help me to break my "prayer voice" and take the time to be with You.
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