day 20 :: give thanks for today

red + blue = purple

blue + yellow = green

peanut butter + jelly = a tasty sandwich
...

anxiety + fear = worry

 therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. [matthew 6:34]

my least favorite part of the week is sunday evening. for a number of reasons, i start to feel anxious as each sunday unfolds. the weekend is coming to a close. i have to return to work in the morning. i don't look forward to having to get up early again. john leaves, after spending much of the weekend with him, and i'm left alone.

i worry.

about tomorrow.

and of course, monday comes and things are just fine. there was nothing to worry about. yet i have a hard not worrying each time sunday arrives.

but Jesus commands us not to worry.

who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? [luke 12:25]

worrying, fretting, fearing about time that has yet to come is time lost. 

sometimes i feel like it's just in our "nature." but He has given us victory over our nature through His sacrifice. He gives us strength in our weakness.

our time will be filled with something. i must find something else to replace worry.

i finally started reading ann voskamp's one thousand gifts, and i am receiving so much through her words on eucharisteo, giving thanks, and how our acts of gratitude relate to the very way we perceive time.

thanksgiving makes time.

really? give thanks and get time? give thanks ... slow time down with all your attention - and your basket of not-enough time-multiplies into more than enough time.

...

the real problem of life is never a lack of time.

the real problem of life-in my life-is lack of thanksgiving.

thanksgiving creates abundance; and the miracle of multiplying happens when i give thanks-take the just one loaf, say it is enough, and give thanks-and He miraculously makes it more than enough. i have beheld suds in sun, and i have known miracles like that.

...

i redeem time from neglect and apathy and inattentiveness [and fear] when i swell with thanks and weigh the moment down and it's giving thanks to God for this moment that multiplies the moments, time made enough.

i am thank-full. i am time-full.

[pgs. 72-73]

the only way to live without fear of the future is to be fully present and thankful and open-eyed to see all the good that He has created in each moment to bless us.

i've started my own list of one thousand gifts with the hope of becoming more thanks-filled, more time-filled. 

a few things i'm thankful for today:

bare feet on cold hardwood floors

a beautiful morning sky

being able to make someone laugh

being wrapped in a soft blanket as i type this post

enjoying warm food with my man and some friends while watching some hockey

what are you thankful for today?