Monday, December 27

claiming joy

the end of this december marks one year since i moved to new york, leaving my family, friends, and comfort behind. to title this year the year of the funk might almost be an understatement. i let adverse situations and trying circumstances dictate my emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. i struggled and allowed myself to be defeated because i let what was going on outside of me stifle me on the inside. i waited for and expected joy to find me as though it was something i deserved after the "sacrifices" i made to be there.

:: i keep my eyes always on the Lord with him at my right hand, i will not be shaken. therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay. You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. (psalm 16:7-11) ::

joy is not something that will or will not find me because of what i've done. joy is not my circumstances working out the way i think that they should. joy is not an emotion, as I allowed myself to think it was this year. joy is a fruit of God's Spirit. joy is a result, a product, a reaping. joy comes when i keep my eyes always on Him. my hope is that this next year will be a year of joy, not because of what is going on around me, but because He is teaching me inside what joy really is.

and as I look back upon pictures from this year, it's humbling how much i am blessed.

:: i am with the love of my life, learning more about him every day and striving to learn how to love him more like Jesus does each day.

:: i have my own apartment, with my own kitchen and bathroom!

:: i have a family i love to be with, be it in new jersey or new york.

:: the skies i've seen in new york this last year are unlike any i've known before and continually fill me with wonder for their Creator.

:: country sweet chicken pizza. new york has wooed me with this stuff. sweet, dessert-like gooey wonder. a bite into a piece of this is bliss for me.

:: i am reading and writing and am relearning to do it with passion and for myself, enjoying it as much as i did when i was younger.
:: oh, and as i sit writing this post, my sisters, my best friends, sit on either side of me.

there is joy all around me.


read about more joys!

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