i came across a train stopped on the tracks on my way home tonight. no sign of impending movement. my usual route home was completely blocked off. now, normally this would upset me a bit as i'm typically quite anxious to get home at the end of the day. [read: i'm an introvert and a homebody.]
but the sky was incredible. a thunderstorm had just passed through, leaving the sun exposed again, setting and shining an amazing golden color with hints of red and pink across the sky. puffy white clouds and gray storm clouds popped over the deep blue. and because of my unexpected detour, i got to enjoy it even longer.
there's something about sunsets and sunrises and beautiful skies that makes me ridiculously happy. bad days, sad thoughts, and worry and stress disappear under a gorgeous sky. something inside me is filled with peace.
lately i've been thinking about heaven. i was challenged at easter sunday's service to be expectant each and every day for Christ's return. if i have to be honest, i really don't like to think about it, and i'm not usually very excited about it. this is an indication that something here on earth is holding more importance. idols are so easy to come by, aren't they?
but the last couple of years have been tough. tougher than most of my years here. getting into a long distance relationship, losing my niece, moving away from my family because of my relationship, and wrestling with inner things that have just seemed to become more magnified as i've found myself away from any form of comfort and familiarity have tested and tried and taken their toll on me. quite frankly, i'm exhausted. and frustrated. and don't really know where i'm going. anxiety is a fairly constant companion.
and then there are nights like tonight... where my soul just gets a chance to breathe. my heart gets a chance to swell. and my mind gets a chance to rest. and i can't help but think that if a sunset can bring me this much peace, how much more will seeing the One who created the sunset.
this earth, this life - it's not how it was supposed to be.
the pain, the heartache, the struggles, the loss, the loneliness, the stress, the mistakes, the worry, the tears... they are temporary.
joy, peace, hope, love... they are eternal. He is eternal.
so lately i've been thinking about heaven.
"therefore we do not lose heart. though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. so we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." [2 cor 4:16-18]