Wednesday, April 20

the right now

a friend of some of my friends was killed in a car accident this morning.

he has a wife and a daughter. he was just a year older than john.

my uncle was in a car accident two months ago. he is in a vegetable state and will spend the rest of his life in a nursing home.

he has a wife and four sons.

it's all so terribly tragic.

and as i've been thinking about it today, it's hitting me how much i take the future for granted.

there is no guarantee john and i will have children. there's not even a guarantee that we will get married.

and yet i can't keep track of how many times in a day i say to myself "i can't wait until i'm a wife", "it'll be different when we're married", or "i just can't wait to have children". i'm constantly wishing for and trying to will time to move faster so i can get to tomorrow.

but tomorrow is not promised to me.

i think it's ok to have these desires, but i really need to wake up to the fact that they may never come to be.

i don't know how long i have here. is this how i want to spend my days, my minutes, my seconds? residing in hopes and dreams for the future? or being present and grateful and giving all i am to right now? right now i have a wonderful boyfriend. right now i have amazing friends. right now i have moments that God has planned for me to do His work. moments that i will miss out on if i am not living in today.

it scares me to think of how much i might be losing out on because i don't value the present.

it's selfish of me to use the time i've been given to live in a reality that doesn't exist.

i want to know my days were spent well at the end of this life. i want to know i did the things He wanted me to do when He created me. i want Him to look at me and say "well done".

i want to start living for this moment.


  1. I totally agree that most of us don't appreciate the present enough. I think it's ok, and almost healthy to look forward to the future and the wonderful things we plan on happening, but at the same time we have to make sure we value every moment we have right now and not take anything for granted. I think trying to remind yourself that your hopes and dreams for the future may never be might be too depressing. Look forward to the day you get to marry the love of your life and look forward to having children with them. But don't skip or pass over any moment to let people know how much you love and appreciate them, because sometimes we fulfill our purpose here before ever getting to all the plans we have for the future.

    I have no doubt that Jonathan made a difference in this world. I have no doubt that his wife and daughter knew just how much he loved them both. He was always so happy and I know he has to have left an impact on so many people. It's still so tragic that he was taken from the world when he still had so long he could have lived, but I believe he lived a wonderful life. So I'm going to remember him and use him as encouragement to never take the wonderful people in my life for granted, to never let a moment of happiness go by underappreciated, and to live the present to the fullest.
    <3 you chica

  2. You have to live one day after other and let the future to God take care of. It´ll work!!!
    Kisses and God bless you.

  3. so true. every moment we have is so precious and i'm understanding this more and more the older i get! although we're still VERY young. and a fitting quote my dad read to me today... The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.

  4. andie - that is beautiful.

    nana - God bless you, too!

    marla - i LOVE that quote. thanks for sharing.


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