Monday, October 4

the rainy day blues

after a few cloudy, drizzly days, it's easy to feel inside as melancholy as the weather outside. the crisp air cuts through like a knife sharpened with despondency. the rain falls bringing my spirit down with each drop.

and it's easy to forget that the sun is still there.

behind the clouds, above the rain, from a view few people on the planet have had, the sun shines - brightly, furiously, awesomely. though i cannot see it from where i am, this does not mean it is not active.

life sometimes feels cold and colorless. hope is not always easily within reach in my mind. drops of disappointment, boredom, and pain fall in downpours and trickles.

it is easy to succumb to the thought that God has forgotten me. or that He just isn't that interested in me at the moment. i believe the lie that He's withholding His love and grace because i haven't met His performance expectations for the month. i carry a gloomy weight of one forgotten like a heavy raincoat.

i'm wrong, though.

in the same way, too, the Son is always there.

behind the dreary appearance of life, He is there. and He has not forgotten. He has not withheld. He is radiant, and He's promised that He is working things always for my good. (romans 8:28)

rain is a necessary part of growth on the earth and in my life.

God "care[s] for the land and water[s] it; [He]enrich[es] it abundantly" (psalm 65:9). and similarly, He waters my heart because He cares. He wants it to grow into something more fruitful, more healthy, more abundant.

it all comes back to not forgetting, being mindful of His presence even when it doesn't feel like He's there, and deciding to hold on to the hope that there will be sunny days ahead. the next time the sky darkens and the rain starts to fall, i'm going to remind myself that i'm in a time of growth. the Son is still there.

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