from wallowing to waiting

so day 4 of being in new york (since waking up at 4:30am to hit the road!) is coming to a close. my unknowns are still unknown. i don't have a job. i don't have a place to live. the more time that passes, the less sure of myself i feel. what am i doing? what am i doing wrong? things certainly haven't unfolded how i hoped they would the first time... or the second... but the other day as i was wallowing in this self pity, i felt His voice ask: 'sarah, do you trust that this is all according to My timing?'... i thought about it and answered 'yes, i do.' and i remembered and thanked God for the many times He has been faithful and has provided for me time and time again, despite how undeserving i was. yet the waves of the oceans of doubt keep rushing in, crashing closer and more intimidatingly as high tide does. but i have to keep my mind and heart in check and focused on Him. He has always provided. He has always loved me. He will continue to carry me. it may not (and definitely has not) look like what i'd like it to or happen the way i hope it to, but i choose to believe it will all come together in His time, for His glory and for my good. to man belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue... in his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps... commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. (prov16:1,9,3)