a change of heart

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my list of needs is short.

my list of wants even longer.

i was talking [complaining] tonight about those same couple of things i always seem to find myself talking about lately. those things that i am convinced that if they would just go according to my selfish plan, i would be so much more able to be happy and thriving and do great things for God.

i came to the conclusion that things weren't happening because i wasn't presenting my requests to God. i needed to be more intentional about asking.

so i sat down with my bible and read a little before praying.

and as i got ready to tell God all the things i wanted, i found myself becoming aware of all the things i have.

as i gazed in front of me, i saw my bicycle. the bicycle i'd had money to buy this year. the  bike that i am able to enjoy riding because i have legs and arms and a healthy body.

i could see my new dining room table. i always have food to eat at it. and on saturday night, i sat there surrounded by friends.

pictures on my bookcase and fridge also reminded me i have lovely friends and family. cards on top of my fridge mean that i have people in my life who care enough to take time to actually write me a note.

i look around and am seriously so happy in my apartment. i love the hardwood floors, the space, the colors, the storage, everything about it. and i have found ways to be creative in decorating it - ways to express myself and create and craft things with my hands. i am blessed to have a home.

i came before the Lord expecting to ask Him to change some circumstances in my life and renew my confidence and trust that He would. but He revealed to me circumstances in which He has already blessed me. all around me are reasons to simply be thankful.

i don't think that means He doesn't care about the desires of my heart and the situations i'm struggling in right now. but He is more concerned about the condition of my heart. His desire is to mold and shape me, and this really is best done through trials.

i didn't get what i expected tonight. i got much more.

i'm thankful for a God whose ways are higher than my own and whose plans are better than mine. that is where my hope and confidence lies. i'm blessed by a Savior who is continually saving me from myself and making me more like Him.

give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever. [ps 107:1]

ten on ten [july edition]

july 10 in pictures:

1. starting sunday  2. new blue nail polish on my toes! 3. a trip to bj's resulted in these yummy plantain chips. 4. relaxing with my stud in the afternoon 5. sunday is also known as hockey day around here. #24 is my stud (: 6. grabbing dinner at the local "greasy spoon" 7. gorgeous night sky 8. we had a kanjam tournament til dark. mosquitoes wanted to join in. we fought back with these candles 9. still so in love with my shutters and curtains 10. bedtime! 

:: created ::

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i am a packrat.

as much as i'd like to believe i am a minimalist, the truth of the matter is that i keep things. school papers, art projects, cards, letters, journals... 

i hold on to things that are important to me. 

most of the things i hold on to are things that i have created. i don't want to let go of them. they have meaning to me. i care for them because they are part of me. they are my creation. 

and as i thought about this the other day, the truth of God's love hit me. 

if i can care so much about a thought, an idea, a piece of art, how much more does my Father love me simply because He created me? how important are we to Him simply because He is our Author? how much value do we hold in His eyes simply because we are crafted from His hands? 

we are the creation of His thoughts, His ideas, His imagination... we are created in His image. 

(gen1:27) God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.  

we are created in His image, and He didn't just leave it at that! He has a plan for our lives. He has created us with reason and purpose... for each of our days.  

(ps139:1-5,13-17) O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. you know when i sit and when i rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. you discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. you hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. . . for you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. i praise you because i am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, i know that full well. my frame was not hidden from you when i was made in the secret place. when i was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. how precious to me are your thoughts, O God! how vast is the sum of them!  

may we seek His purpose for each of our days; may His thoughts be of priceless value to us; may the creation overflow with praise for the Creator.

a field. a couch. a giveaway. [for you!]

hi friends,

i wanted to let you know about a giveaway my friend justin is doing. he's an amazing photographer. see?

justin recently did an engagement shoot with two of my lovely friends, brennan and tara.

a vintage couch in a gorgeous field? i love.

and he's giving someone the opportunity to win this signed, limited edition 11x15 print:

check out his blog for more amazing photos and to enter!

all photos: jalexander photography